My Second Wedding Night

What’s everyone else doing this Friday evening?

So you didn’t just put your one year old to bed and head to the garage to dig out your wedding dress? (No honey, I didn’t restack all the bins) I did actually head to my bedroom first to put on my uniform ( what I call my comfy robe), but I remembered it’s in the wash because I wore it when I cooked the most disgusting dinner ever last night. One pot chili mac (and cheese). Barf a saurus. I guess I got sucked in by the “one pot.” It was a real hard sell to the kids…even Matt told me not to keep the leftovers and he eats like a goat.

Anyways, I keep trying to get a picture of Harriet the cat and myself with my phone camera timer, but she’s terrified of my new swishing sound. It took over thirty minutes of me sneaking around after her, with the bottom of my dress swooshing into toddler toys, for her to become accustomed enough for me to try to wrastle her in for a photograph. Little shit tried to bite my face the whole time. Got it though!

Now I ’m trying to figure out what to do next. I’m pretty sure I’ll be heading back to the garage to grab a blackberry Bubbly and watch some Dawson’s Creek on the couch. I’m also trying to figure out how I wore this dress for hours and hours of dancing, eating, and drinking, 11 and a half years ago. I suppose that WAS four babies ago…no the dress  doesn’t zip all the way. I’m fit, not a magician. And no those are not my real boobs. I asked my sweet little seamstress to sew in those fancy bonus cups!

Gosh I would love to have another wedding. Where Matt and I weren’t so stressed and crazy and mentally unstable. Why wasn’t I just running around footloose and fancy free, celebrating having no one’s butt to wipe or not having to cook five dinners, but instead got to have a gigantic buffet in my honor? Sigh, hindsight is always 20/20 I suppose. While I’m at it, I would also love to change my bridesmaid dresses to a champagne color with light pink roses and get married in the Winter on the snowiest day of the season.

This dress is so wonderful. I can almost smell the Victoria’s Secret Love Spell! It’s so sparkly and princessy. It most definitely should not be in a box in the garage. You older moms, what age is appropriate to start pushing it on one of my daughters to wear for their wedding?

Anyways, use the fancy white dishes you bought for $40 on a swap page, light the candle you don’t want to burn out, wear your new knit sweater that’s sure to ball up in the washer, buy yourself some fresh flowers even though they only last a week. And for God’s sake, get your wedding dress out of the garage, even if it doesn’t fit all the way, and prance around your living room with your cat for a bit on a Friday night!

I can’t breathe very well, so I’m going to check on my robe in the dryer.


2 thoughts on “My Second Wedding Night

  1. That is a beautiful dress😍😍😍 Now I want to get mine out😂😂 My sweet mom took it to a dry cleaners to have it cleaned and boxed up!! We should definitely have a girl party where we all wear our old wedding dresses 🙌


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